You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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