I'm really into asian looking animals
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
