we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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