That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
