No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
