OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
