even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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