My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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