eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
where are my eyebrows?
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