god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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