i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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