Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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