Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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