Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
