Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This is the high leading the old right now
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
