We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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