also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
