Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
