your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
