Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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