Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
