well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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