either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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