Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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