We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
this is an emotional support booty call
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
