it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
