Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
