It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize