So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
