I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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