my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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