Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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