Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
