she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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