Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
