She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize