Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
