i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
They took my balls.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
