they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
