i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
