Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
