Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
