He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
