i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
