North Korea, Best Korea!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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