at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My room smells like vodka and shame
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
