i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm having to shit out rocks
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
