so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
