He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
