she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
