You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm like, not good at living.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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