the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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