is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
