By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
