I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
COCAINE IS GR8
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